In this episode, I delve into a deeply personal journey that resonates with many listeners: the process of recognizing when your identity no longer aligns with who you truly are. After a two-month hiatus from the podcast, it became clear to me that what I was experiencing—and what so many of us experience—was a significant identity shift. This moment often creeps up subtly, manifesting as feelings of discomfort in various aspects of life, from career choices and relationships to self-care habits and health routines. I share that if you’re feeling an internal tug of war between your past self and the person you wish to become, know that you're not alone. I'm currently navigating this territory myself, and together, we’ll explore how to identify and understand this ‘identity friction.’ Throughout the episode, I draw on my own experiences to illustrate how this friction can feel. Perhaps you wake up and dread going to work or resent the way you spend your time. You might catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and wonder when you became unrecognizable or feel detached from hobbies and routines that once brought you joy. The phrases “what happened to me?” and “why can’t I just feel normal?” arise frequently in our inner dialogue. I emphasize that it’s essential to recognize these feelings as normal part of the evolution process, a sign that you’re ready to step into the next phase of your growth. We discuss ‘identity friction,’ a term I use to describe the conflict between who you were and who you are becoming. This friction can feel heavy and reminiscent of comfort zones that may have once been beneficial but are now too confining. As I open up about my transition from an in-person coach to expanding my impact online, I reflect on the fear I felt at the thought of betraying the clients and the identity I've forged over a decade. It’s a familiar struggle, one that many face when attempting to break free from established patterns, especially in the realm of health and fitness. I reiterate that this process doesn’t equate to failure; rather, it’s an invitation to embrace change. I encourage listeners to acknowledge the internal conflict they may experience as they strive to adapt and grow. Recognizing this shift can be done through self-reflection, naming the aspects of your identity that no longer fit, and understanding what is holding you back. By listing out those elements and recognizing that this discomfort is a part of evolution, you empower yourself to start making conscious choices. Action steps follow the recognition phase. I guide listeners through the practicalities of defining their future selves—who they aspire to be—and emphasizing the importance of visualization in achieving those goals. Just as you would map a destination for a road trip, you must envision where you want to go in life and create a plan to get there. I stress the need for an anchor habit that can help center you during the tumultuous journey of change, whether it’s a morning routine or a simple act of self-care, and suggest that starting with small, achievable goals can lead to profound changes over time. Finally, I highlight the significance of community support. Surrounding yourself with individuals who share similar aspirations or who have successfully navigated their own identity shifts can provide invaluable support in your journey. Having a coach or mentor who has traversed the path you wish to follow can accelerate your growth and give you the confidence to fully embrace your evolution. This episode is a compassionate reminder that it’s okay to leave behind past versions of ourselves and that with awareness and intention, we can step into a more authentic and fulfilling iteration of who we are meant to be. Whether you’re just starting your journey or feeling lost in the transition, together, we’re building a roadmap for a powerful comeback.
What an identity shift actually feels like—and why it’s more common than you think
The subtle signs that you’ve outgrown your current habits, routines, and mindset
How to navigate the discomfort of letting go of who you used to be
Why success in the past doesn't mean you have to stay the same
The power of anchor habits and redefining your future self
How to build a vision for where you're headed—and who you're becoming
Why you're not selfish for wanting more—you're ready for evolution
[0:15] “When the identity you built no longer fits… it’s uncomfortable—but it’s also your signal to evolve.”
[3:01] “You’re stuck between who you were and who you’re becoming. That’s identity friction.”
[5:51] “I started realizing that version of my life was too small for where I wanted to go.”
[7:04] “Focusing on yourself doesn’t mean you’re quitting—it means you’re growing.”